You know how some days, life feels like a sitcom written by a very bored, very chaotic scriptwriter? That’s me. I’ve lived it. And oh, do I have stories. My divorce? Thought my world was ending. That job I left in a huff? Felt like the universe was slapping me in the face. Turns out, those “bad things” were just plot twists—ones that turned my so-called tragedy into a pretty fabulous dramedy.

Let’s start with the big one: my divorce. At the time, it felt like I was free-falling into a bottomless pit of heartbreak and doom. I cried, ate my body weight in chocolate, and genuinely believed I couldn’t keep going. But you know what? I did. Not gracefully at first, mind you—but I did.

After the tears dried (and the chocolate wrappers piled up), I realized I was still here. And maybe—just maybe—there was a version of me out there I hadn’t met yet. One who wasn’t defined by a relationship or anyone else’s expectations. That’s when I started booking solo trips and saying yes to things that terrified me. Paris? Alone. Hiking? Alone. Karaoke in front of strangers? Okay, that one was questionable, but I nailed Bohemian Rhapsody.

Every little risk I took brought me closer to myself. And guess what? I kind of liked her. I found new friends who felt like family. I threw myself into work, not because I had to, but because I wanted to see what I was capable of. And along the way, I became someone stronger—someone who could hold others up when their worlds fell apart.

That Job I Thought I’d Never Get Over? Pfft.
Oh, let’s talk about my old job for a second. I was furious when I left. My boss didn’t appreciate me, and I didn’t get the support I deserved. So, I walked out, head held high but heart absolutely crushed. For weeks, I second-guessed myself. Did I overreact? Would I ever find something better?

Well, let me tell you: better found me. I landed a role that paid more, respected me more, and gave me something I never thought I’d have—free time. You know what free time is? A gift. It’s yoga at 10 AM on a Tuesday, binge-watching cheesy rom-coms, or taking a nap just because. That “bad thing” gave me the life I didn’t even know I wanted.

Even “Good” Things Can Fool You
Of course, not all “good” things stay good. Take my toxic ex. When we first met, I thought he was the love of my life. He was charming, funny, and had that smile that made me weak in the knees. Fast forward to the end, and I was Googling “how to banish energy vampires.” That relationship taught me the difference between “this feels good right now” and “this is actually good for me.” Spoiler: they are not the same.

So, What’s the Point?
Here’s what I’ve learned: life is a constant surprise party, and not all the surprises come with balloons. Good, bad—who knows? Sometimes the most painful moments end up being the stepping stones to the best chapters of your life. And sometimes the shiny, perfect things have cracks you don’t notice until you’ve tripped over them.

The secret? Stop judging the moment and start focusing on how you’re going to grow through it. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about what happens to you—it’s about who you become because of it.

Butter’s Toolkit for Navigating Life Without Judging the Outcome

1. Breathe Through It.
   Whatever it is, take a deep breath. Or twenty. You don’t have to decide whether it’s good or bad right away. Just exist with it for a moment.
2. Ask Yourself: What Can I Learn?
   Every situation has a lesson, even if it’s as simple as “never date someone who can’t properly apologize.”
3. Find the Humor.
   If you can laugh about it—even just a little—it’s already losing its power over you. (Remember me karaoke-ing solo to Bohemian Rhapsody? Life’s a stage, my friends.)
4. Get Curious, Not Judgy.
   Instead of labeling things as “good” or “bad,” try saying, “Hmm, interesting…” and see where it leads you. Curiosity opens doors; judgment slams them shut.
5. Celebrate the Growth.
   Did you survive? Did you learn? Did you make it to the other side stronger or wiser (or at least with a funny story)? Then you’ve won, my friend.

Life is wild, unpredictable, and sometimes downright messy. But in the chaos, there’s always room to grow. So next time life throws you a curveball, catch it, juggle it, and maybe even turn it into your next great adventure. Good thing, bad thing—who knows? But you’ve got this. 💛