There I was, minding my own business, writing a blog post about the importance of modern connectivity when BAM! The Wi-Fi went down. At first, I thought it was just a hiccup—a blip in the matrix. A quick reset of the router would fix it, right? Wrong. This was no ordinary outage. This was a full-blown Wi-Fi blackout that lasted three days. Three. Whole. Days.

Do you know what happens when a 21st-century human loses internet access? Chaos. Utter chaos.

Day 1: Denial and Delusion

The first few hours, I was convinced it was a minor issue. “This is fine,” I told myself, staring at the blinking red light on my router. “A quick fix.” Spoiler: it was not fine.

When the realization hit, I went through the five stages of grief at lightning speed:

1. Denial: “This can’t be happening. My ISP wouldn’t do me like this!”

2. Anger: “How dare they! I pay good money for this service!”

3. Bargaining: “Maybe if I unplug and replug the router for the 40th time, the internet gods will bless me.”

4. Depression: “What’s the point of anything if I can’t even Google it?”

5. Acceptance: “Fine. I’ll just… read a book or something. Do people still do that?”

Day 2: The Handicapped Modern Human

Day two was when the reality of my dependence on the internet smacked me square in the face.

• Groceries? Can’t order them. Turns out, I didn’t even know the phone number for the local store.

• Work? Forget blogging—I couldn’t even think of a topic without my trusty search engine. I sat staring at a blank Word doc like it owed me money.

• Entertainment? No Netflix. No YouTube. I tried watching regular TV, but it felt like eating stale bread when you’re used to sourdough fresh from the oven.

Worst of all, my stock market trading—my side hustle!—was a disaster. I had no idea whether my shares were soaring or sinking. Every minute offline felt like a missed opportunity (or a lost fortune). I even considered walking to the library to use their free Wi-Fi, but let’s be honest, I couldn’t remember where it was.

Day 3: Adaptation and Strange Joy

By the third day, something miraculous happened: I… adapted. Don’t get me wrong—this wasn’t some “aha!” moment of enlightenment. It was more of a reluctant surrender to my tech-free reality.

• I rediscovered my love of journaling (on actual paper! With a pen!).

• I went for a long walk and noticed things I hadn’t in years—like how my neighbor’s dog growls at literally everyone.

• I sat on the balcony with a cup of coffee and stared into the distance. It was strangely meditative, although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t imagining my Wi-Fi icon coming back to life.

By the time the internet was finally restored, I had a new perspective. Sure, life without Wi-Fi feels impossible at first, but it’s also a reminder of how tethered we’ve become to our screens. Those three days forced me to slow down, get creative, and confront how much I rely on a steady connection to function.

What I Learned from the Breakdown

1. Plan B is essential: Have offline backups of critical information—like grocery lists, recipes, or emergency phone numbers. I’m now the proud owner of a physical notebook labeled “In Case of Wi-Fi Apocalypse.”

2. Real-world connections matter: I finally visited a friend who lives ten minutes away because I couldn’t text her. It was… delightful.

3. It’s okay to unplug sometimes: I wouldn’t choose a Wi-Fi breakdown, but it taught me that stepping away from the digital world is more refreshing than I realized.

A Note to My Future Self

Dear Butter,

If this ever happens again, remember: you survived it once, and you can survive it again. The world doesn’t end without Wi-Fi—it just feels like it does. Breathe, adapt, and maybe invest in a backup mobile hotspot.

To anyone reading this, I hope you never experience the Great Wi-Fi Breakdown, but if you do, lean into the chaos. Who knows? You might rediscover some simple joys… or at least find out where your library is.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to catch up on three days’ worth of internet. Priorities, you know?