You know that feeling when someone’s negativity gets so deep under your skin, you start drafting comeback speeches in the shower? Yeah, that was me the other day. A colleague of mine, someone I thought was at least decently civil, decided to spice up their day by turning one of my most virtuous deeds (yes, virtuous!) into some twisted, gossip-worthy tale. And let me tell you, it worked—because the drama spread like wildfire.

At first, I was all shock and protest. How could they?! What kind of person takes kindness and serves it back as cruelty? My brain was buzzing with indignation and hurt, a perfect storm of “How dare they?” and “What did I do to deserve this?” But then came the real kicker.

By the end of Day Two, after hours (okay, maybe days) of mentally replaying the situation and crafting imaginary scenarios where I came out on top like some moral superhero, I had an epiphany.

I realized something painfully obvious but deeply freeing: I was letting this person and their negativity take up way too much real estate in my head. And honestly? My 100-year-old deathbed self—the wiser, softer, no-time-for-nonsense version of me—would be shaking her head in disappointment. I could practically hear her voice: “Butter, you’re wasting your precious life thinking about an idiot and their mean acts. Get it together, girl.”

So, I decided to get it together. And here’s how.

1. The Negative People No-Entry Plan

First, I made a mental list of the people who matter in my life—people whose opinions, love, and support I value. (Spoiler: Mean colleagues didn’t make the list.) This simple exercise helped me immediately reframe the situation. Why was I giving power to someone who wasn’t even in my inner circle?

2. Perspective Check: They’re Not That Powerful

Here’s a reality check I had to give myself: Someone spreading lies about me doesn’t make the lies true. Their actions don’t define me; my actions do. People who know me—truly know me—will see through the nonsense. And as for everyone else? Well, not everyone’s going to like me, and that’s okay.

3. The “Will This Matter in 5 Years?” Rule

This one hit hard. In five years, will I even remember this drama? Will it matter? Probably not. So why let it ruin five minutes, five hours, or even five days of my current life? I’ve got bigger dreams, people! Letting negativity steal my time is like handing over my most precious currency to someone I wouldn’t trust with a dollar.

4. Boundaries for My Mental Space

I also decided to set some firm boundaries—not just for people around me but for myself. Negative thoughts? Not welcome. Overthinking? Eviction notice served. Anytime my mind starts circling back to this nonsense, I ask myself: “Do I really want to spend my energy on this?” And then I redirect my focus to something more positive, like a goal I’m working on or a moment of gratitude.

5. The Freedom of Letting Go

Here’s the magic: letting go doesn’t mean condoning what happened. It means choosing peace over pettiness. It’s me saying, “Hey, I see your nonsense, but you’re not worth my joy.” It’s a radical act of self-care.

Butter’s Closing Thoughts

At the end of the day, I can’t control how other people act—but I can absolutely control how much access I give them to my peace. When someone’s mean, spreading lies or trying to drag you down, don’t let their actions define you. Don’t let their negativity seep into the sacred space that is your head and your heart.

Because here’s the truth: people like that don’t deserve to rent a corner of your brain, let alone the penthouse suite.

So today, I’m choosing peace. I’m choosing to focus on the people, dreams, and moments that actually matter. And when I look back on my life—whether it’s in five years or on my deathbed at 100—I’ll be proud of myself for not letting some small-minded person steal my light.

And if you’re in the same boat? Join me. It’s way more peaceful over here.