So there I was, sitting on my couch, minding my own business, flipping through an old horoscope book (because obviously, the stars need to tell me what’s up with my life). And then I saw it.

“Your expected lifespan: 84 years.”

Eighty-four. Not 100, not “forever if you eat enough kale,” but a very specific 84.

Now, I could’ve shrugged it off, but instead, my brain—being the overachiever in anxiety that it is—went straight into COUNTDOWN MODE.

I grabbed my calculator (aka my phone, because let’s be real, I haven’t touched an actual calculator since high school) and started crunching numbers.

• 84 years = 733,560 hours total.

• Oh wait, I already lived some of those? Cool, cool, let’s subtract my current age.

• Omg. I’m down to x hundred thousand hours.

• Oh no, I sleep for a third of that??

• COMMUTING?? WORK?? SHOWERING??

• HOW MANY HOURS DO I ACTUALLY HAVE LEFT TO LIVE?!

And that, dear friends, is how I had a full-blown existential crisis before lunch.

The Time Audit That Changed My Life

After hyperventilating into a snack (because priorities), I realized: I need to stop wasting time. Like, right now.

I did a brutally honest time audit, and the results were horrifying. Turns out, I was spending:

• 30% of my life sleeping (acceptable, but rude).

• 25% working (tragic).

• 10% commuting and getting ready (disgusting).

• 10% doom-scrolling on my phone (highly unnecessary).

• 5% looking for snacks I already ate.

Which left me with, I don’t know, like zero time to actually live??

So I did what any normal person would do. I opened Google Calendar and went full psycho-mode on time-blocking my life.

My New, Genius “Live Every Hour” Schedule

From this moment on, I decided: No more autopilot. No more wasting time thinking about dumb stuff like “Should I reply to this email with ‘Best’ or ‘Kind Regards’?” (answer: neither, just say what you need to say and leave).

Instead, I blocked my time like my life depended on it. Because, well, IT KIND OF DOES.

1. The “Do Nothing” Block (aka “Intentional Idling”)

I used to think “free time” just meant getting sucked into an internet rabbit hole of which medieval plague fits your personality? quizzes. NOT ANYMORE.

Now, I have scheduled time to literally sit, breathe, and do nothing.

• Stare at a wall.

• Sip tea dramatically.

• Be mysterious and European about it.

(10/10 recommend.)

2. The “Creative Genius” Block (aka “Writing Time”)

No more waiting for inspiration to strike. If it’s blocked on my calendar, my butt is in the chair, typing away like I’m the next great novelist.

3. The “Hygge Social Hour” (aka Cozy Friend Time)

Listen, I LOVE people. But I was treating social time like an optional side quest instead of the main storyline.

So now? Every week, I have scheduled hygge time.

• Candle-lit cozy dinners with friends.

• Coffee dates where we rant about life.

• Gossip sessions that feel like therapy but free.

4. The “Spontaneous Adventure” Block

Once a month, I will do something reckless but fun (within reason, I still have anxiety). This can be:

• A random weekend trip.

• Trying a new hobby.

• Booking a flight on a whim (lol jk, I plan EVERYTHING but you get the vibe).

5. The “Stop Overthinking Every Tiny Thing” Rule

You know how much time I’ve wasted mentally replaying awkward conversations from 2009?? A stupid amount.

From now on, my motto is:

• If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t waste more than 5 minutes thinking about it.

• If I say something weird, I will assume no one cares (because, spoiler alert: they don’t).

• Overthinking is just mental procrastination—and I don’t have time for that.

Final Thoughts (Before My Countdown Timer Ticks Even More Down)

Honestly? This whole “life is a countdown” thing was terrifying at first. But now, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I don’t have time for nonsense. I don’t have time for things that drain me. And I definitely don’t have time to waste entire afternoons wondering if I should start a new show or just rewatch The Office for the 47th time (spoiler: always start something new).

Now, every hour of my life has purpose—even the ones where I’m just laying on the floor listening to sad music for the drama of it. Because that, too, is living.

So, my dear reader, here’s my advice: Set your countdown. Freak out a little. And then live accordingly.

Because time is ticking, and you’ve got a whole lot of life to squeeze in.