So, I did a thing. A big thing. A thing that makes me question my sanity at least five times before breakfast.

I took up a new job. But this isn’t just any job—this time, I’m playing in the big leagues. It’s not about just showing up, seeing patients, and leaving with a somewhat predictable routine. Nope. This time, the stakes are high. Revenue, sustainability, breaking even—things that sound way too grown-up and financially responsible for someone who still has to convince herself that buying 14 different types of pens is not a necessity.

And yet, here I am.

The Anxiety Spiral

The moment I stepped into this role, I felt that familiar old anxiety creeping in. You know the one. The What if I fail? monster, the What if I’m not good enough? whisperer, the What if this turns into another disaster? panic button that my brain loves to press at 3 a.m. I wish I could say I’m immune to this by now, but let’s be real—starting something new, something uncertain, is terrifying no matter how much experience you have.

But here’s the thing: I’m tired of letting fear drive the car. It can sit in the passenger seat if it wants, but I refuse to let it take the wheel.

The Business Side of Things

Medicine? I know medicine. People come in sick, I try my best to fix them, they either get better or I cry in the call room (joking… mostly). But running a business? Generating revenue? Making sure a hospital breaks even? This is a whole new battlefield. And the weight of it is heavy. I’ve always been driven by purpose, by the desire to make people’s lives better. But now, that purpose is tangled up with spreadsheets, financial targets, and sustainability goals.

Am I in over my head? Maybe. But you know what? That’s how most great stories start.

Learning to Take It One Step at a Time

I think a lot of my anxiety comes from trying to solve everything at once. The whole How do I fix an entire hospital overnight? type of stress. Which, logically, I know is ridiculous. I can’t do everything at once. But I can do one thing at a time.

So that’s the plan:

1. Breathe. First and foremost. No hyperventilating allowed.

2. Break it down. Instead of worrying about all the challenges, I’ll tackle them one by one.

3. Ask for help. I don’t have to know everything. I just have to be willing to learn.

4. Stay creative. The best solutions often come from thinking outside the box.

5. Believe in myself. Because if I don’t, who will?

The Old Problems Won’t Define Me

One of my biggest fears is that I’ll repeat past mistakes. That old habits of overworking, overthinking, and over-worrying will creep back in. That I’ll let pressure turn into burnout instead of motivation. But here’s what I have to remind myself: I am not the same person I was before.

I have grown. I have learned. I have failed, yes, but I have also survived. And if I could make it through all of that, I can make it through this.

The Road Ahead

Will this job be hard? Yes. Will I doubt myself? Probably. Will I have moments where I stare blankly at financial reports like they’re written in an alien language? Absolutely.

But I will also figure it out. I will bring my optimism, my creativity, and my stubborn refusal to give up. And step by step, I will make this work.

So here’s to new challenges, old fears, and the unshakable belief that I can do hard things.

And if all else fails—there’s always coffee.