Hey friends,

So here’s a little story from the trenches of Trying to Be a Grown-Up™: I got some really exciting news at work recently — I got approved for something big. Like the kind of approval that makes you sit up a little straighter, fantasize about a celebratory coffee run and a croissant, and start mentally composing your Oscar speech. You know, the one that starts with “I’d like to thank my ancestors, my dog, and iced lattes for keeping me going.”

But before I could even finish savoring that little sip of success, bam! — a good ol’ plot twist. A couple of legacy stakeholders (you know the ones — they’ve been around longer than the breakroom microwave and just as likely to spark) decided to reshuffle the order of operations. Suddenly, my nice shiny plan was all crinkled up like an old grocery list in someone’s back pocket. And y’all… I was not thrilled.

I’ll be honest — I had a full internal tantrum. I mean, on the outside I was nodding and saying things like “Totally understand” and “We’ll adapt,” but on the inside? Picture me flipping a table in slow motion while screaming “WHY?” into the void. Very dramatic. Very Oscar-worthy.

But here’s the thing: sometimes, in the wild jungle that is the workplace, the only way out is through. Through the mess, through the ego-bruising, through the “I worked so hard on this and now it’s spaghetti” moments.

So how do we deal when things go sideways again and we have to be patient, diplomatic, and productive — all while suppressing the urge to dramatically slide under our desks and text our group chat “I QUIT”?

Let’s talk about it. Because I’m still learning too.

1. Pause Before the Plot Twist Consumes You
   The moment things change — especially after a win — it’s easy to feel like the rug’s been yanked out from under you. But try (tryyyy) not to react immediately. Take a deep breath. Or ten. Maybe walk around the office pretending to look for your AirPods while actually just avoiding eye contact. Whatever gives you a beat to recalibrate.
2. Name the Feeling — Privately
   Frustration? Disappointment? That special brand of rage that comes from watching something you built get rearranged without your input? Yup. All valid. I like to label the feeling in my Notes app or whisper it to my plant. It helps me avoid lashing out at the wrong person. Because snapping at Susan from Finance probably won’t fix your workflow, but it will make team lunches awkward.
3. Zoom Out (No, Not on Teams)
   In moments like these, I force myself to zoom out and ask: What’s the actual goal here? Is it to be right? To preserve my pride? Or is it to get the dang thing done — well, effectively, and maybe even better than before? Sometimes the changes, though annoying, end up surfacing things I missed. Other times, they just teach me how to hold my tongue without biting it off. Growth!
4. Channel the Frustration Into Focus
   This is my secret weapon: I get mad… and then I get maniacally productive. I crank out deliverables like I’m auditioning for a “World’s Most Gracefully Passive-Aggressive Employee” award. Sometimes spite can be a temporary fuel. But hey, at least it’s clean-burning and results-oriented.
5. Vent… Responsibly
   I’m not above a good, juicy vent. But I choose my people wisely. Ideally, someone who won’t screenshot your messages and send them to your manager, or worse — someone who’ll just reply “lol” and then ghost. You want a person who says “Ugh, I get it” and then reminds you how awesome you are. That’s the kind of friend who can handle your mess without encouraging you to make a bigger one.
6. Remember the Long Game
   You know what really sucks? Burning bridges you’ll probably have to cross again. So I remind myself: This moment is not the whole story. This project is not the hill I want to die on. The people who shuffled the order may not be villains — just stuck in their own maze of pressures and priorities. And if I can stay gracious under pressure? That’s a flex that actually gets remembered.

So here I am. Still working, still breathing, still smiling (a little tighter than usual), and still choosing patience over pettiness. Most days. Okay, some days. But hey — progress is progress.

To anyone else out there biting their tongue and doing their best: I see you. Let’s not forget to take care of ourselves in the process, because emotional labor is still labor. And maybe — maybe — one day, we’ll all get through a workplace curveball without mentally rage-texting our group chats.

But until then… deep breaths and double espressos, my friend.

Always in the mess with you,
Butter

P.S. Should I start printing “Still Smiling, Still Spitefully Productive” on mugs? Because I feel like that’s a vibe.