Dear Friend

How to Rest Without Feeling Like a Useless Lump of Bread Dough

March 16, 2025

life

Okay, let’s get real: when was the last time you truly rested? And I don’t mean scrolling through your phone while half-watching a Netflix show you don’t even like. I mean the kind of rest where your brain goes, “Ahhh,” instead of, “Oh no, I should be doing something important right now.”

Somewhere along the way, we collectively decided that being busy equals being worthy. If you’re not actively doing something productive—working, cleaning, learning a new skill, training for a marathon, or alphabetizing your spice rack—then what are you even doing with your life?

Well, my friend, I’m here to tell you that we’ve been scammed. Hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Resting is not being useless. It is, in fact, essential to being a functional human being. And more importantly, it’s something we have forgotten how to do. So, let’s break it down.

Step 1: Understand That You’re Not a Machine

Contrary to popular belief, you are not a laptop that can just run on low battery until you’re plugged in with a double-shot espresso. If you don’t rest, you will crash—whether that means burnout, an emotional breakdown, or accidentally putting your keys in the fridge and your yogurt in your purse (we’ve all been there).

Resting is not wasting time. It is recharging. Just like your phone needs to sit there doing nothing to juice up, so do you.

Step 2: Rebrand Resting

If the word “rest” makes you feel like an unproductive slug, let’s rebrand it. Call it “strategic energy conservation.” Tell yourself you’re “investing in long-term efficiency.” Give it a corporate-sounding name like “Scheduled Downtime Optimization.” Whatever works.

Because here’s the thing: when you rest properly, you actually become more productive later. Your brain works better, your mood improves, and you’re less likely to cry over minor inconveniences (like your sock slipping off inside your shoe).

Step 3: Learn the Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing

This is where things get tricky. Thanks to the Internet, we’ve lost the ability to just… be. If you’ve ever sat down to “rest” and immediately felt the need to check your phone, rearrange your bookshelf, or start a side hustle, congratulations! You are a modern human.

Doing nothing is a skill. You have to practice it. Start small:

• Stare at the ceiling for five minutes.

• Sit on your couch without looking at your phone.

• Lie on the floor like a dramatic Victorian woman waiting for someone to fetch her smelling salts.

At first, your brain will panic. “But we should be doing something! We have emails to answer! The laundry! The dishes! That weird spot on the ceiling that needs investigating!”

Ignore it. Let the discomfort wash over you. With time, you’ll realize that nothing bad happens when you rest. The world doesn’t collapse just because you took a nap.

Step 4: Choose the Right Kind of Rest

Not all rest is created equal. There’s:

• Physical rest (sleeping, napping, lying down like a human starfish).

• Mental rest (doing something that gives your brain a break, like doodling or watching clouds).

• Social rest (avoiding people because, honestly, you’re exhausted).

• Creative rest (letting your mind wander instead of forcing it to be productive).

Figure out what kind of rest you actually need. If you’re mentally drained but try to fix it with a nap, you’ll wake up feeling like you got hit by a truck. If you’re physically exhausted but decide to “relax” by doomscrolling Twitter, you’ll just end up stressed and tired. Pick your rest wisely.

Step 5: Give Yourself Permission to Rest

This is the hardest part. You have to let yourself rest without guilt. No apologizing for taking a break. No justifying it. No trying to turn it into something productive (“I’m resting so I can work harder later!”).

You deserve to rest just because you’re human. Not because you “earned” it. Not because you “need” it. Just because.

Final Thoughts

If you take one thing away from this, let it be this: you are allowed to rest. Not because you finished all your tasks, not because you reached a breaking point, but because you exist.

So go ahead. Take a nap. Stare at the clouds. Lie on the floor and do absolutely nothing. Be a lump. The world will still be here when you get up.

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So, I Lost My Job… Now What?

March 15, 2025

Work

Three days ago, I dramatically quit my job like I was the lead character in a high-stakes movie. Except there was no slow clap, no victorious background music—just me storming out, my office plant in one hand and my dignity barely intact in the other.

At first, it felt exhilarating. FREEDOM! No more nonsense, no more emails marked “URGENT!!!” that are actually about someone forgetting to book a meeting room. No more politics. No more pretending to care about who stole whose lunch from the fridge.

But here I am, three days later, sitting at home in my pajamas, staring at the ceiling like a philosopher who just discovered existential dread. I have savings. I have a supportive family. I have a roof over my head. And yet… I feel homeless.

Why Does Losing a Job Feel Like Losing Yourself?

Honestly? Because work takes up too much real estate in our identity. We introduce ourselves as “Hi, I’m Butter, and I’m a [insert impressive job title here].” We measure our worth by productivity. So when the job disappears, it feels like we do too.

Also, routines keep us sane. Even if you hated your job, at least you had structure. Now, mornings are just one long abyss where time has no meaning.

The Five Stages of Job Loss Grief (According to Me, Not Science)

1. Denial – “This is fine! A break is good! I’m going to be so productive now!” (Spoiler: You won’t.)

2. Panic Buying on Amazon – Suddenly, buying a fancy notebook or a blender feels like taking control of your life.

3. Existential Dread – “Who am I without my job? Am I… nothing?”

4. Acceptance (But Also Binge-Watching) – The realization hits, but instead of processing it, you rewatch an entire season of something.

5. Rebirth (Eventually) – You start making plans. Applying. Dreaming. Realizing you’re not doomed.

How to Survive This Weird, Floaty Time

• Give Yourself Time to Mourn – Yes, even if you hated the job. Your brain needs time to recalibrate.

• Create a Fake Routine – Wake up, wear actual pants, go outside. Trick your brain into thinking you have somewhere to be.

• Remind Yourself: You’re Not Your Job – You’re still you. You still have skills, talents, and a great sense of humor (hopefully).

• Dream a Little – Maybe this is your chance to start that business, that blog, that creative thing you always pushed aside.

• Talk to People – You’ll feel less lost when you realize literally everyone has felt like this at some point.

And most importantly—breathe. You haven’t lost everything. You’ve just lost a job. And jobs? They come and go. But YOU? You’re still here, still standing, still full of potential.

And hey, at least now you don’t have to pretend to care about Steve’s missing lunch anymore.

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Administration: The Fine Art of Herding Cats, Keeping the Ship Afloat, and Not Losing Your Mind

March 6, 2025

Work

So, the other day, I overheard a department head ranting about his own faculty—with an outsider. And not just any mild, harmless venting. This was full-on, “These people just don’t get it, I’m surrounded by resistance!” energy. You know, the kind of frustration that makes you pace the room, throw your hands in the air, and question whether you should have just become a florist instead.

And it got me thinking—what is administration, really? Is it just about making sure things run? Is it about forcing our ideas through, no matter the resistance? Is it about serving the larger interest of the organization? Or is it more of a fragile, delicate dance of consensus-building, like trying to get a group of toddlers to agree on a bedtime story?

I fell deep into this spiral of thoughts, and since you’re here, you’re coming with me. Let’s talk about what makes good administration—the golden principles that separate the truly great leaders from the ones who think “leadership” means “because I said so.”

1. Administration Is Not a Solo Act

Look, you may have a vision. A bold, innovative, world-changing vision. But if your team isn’t on board, you’re basically that person trying to start a slow clap at the wrong moment. No one follows ideas simply because they’re “right”—they follow ideas that make sense to them, ideas they feel part of. Administration isn’t about pushing an agenda; it’s about bringing people together around one.

2. The Organization Comes First (Not Your Ego, Sorry)

There’s a fine line between being a passionate leader and being, well… a dictator. When making decisions, the question should always be: What serves the greater good of the organization? Not “What makes me look good?” or “What proves my point?” The moment personal ego overshadows organizational health, things start going downhill fast.

3. People Resist Change, Not Because They’re Difficult, But Because They Weren’t Included

Resistance isn’t always about stubbornness. It’s often about fear, uncertainty, or just not understanding why a change is happening. The best administrators don’t bulldoze through resistance—they address it. They explain, they listen, they adapt. A change that people feel they had a hand in shaping is always easier to implement than one that’s just dropped on them like an unexpected PowerPoint presentation.

4. Conflict Isn’t the Enemy—Mismanagement of Conflict Is

Avoiding conflict doesn’t mean you’re running a smooth ship; it means you’re probably ignoring some serious icebergs. The best administrators don’t fear disagreements—they manage them. They create a space where people can air concerns, debate, and then move forward instead of festering in passive-aggressive email chains.

5. Consensus Doesn’t Mean Everyone Is Happy, It Means Everyone Can Move Forward

Here’s the thing: you’re never going to get 100% of people completely happy with a decision. But administration isn’t about pleasing everyone; it’s about creating a functional, forward-moving system where people can at least accept the decisions made. The goal isn’t universal love—it’s workable, sustainable agreement.

6. The Best Administrators Don’t Just Manage, They Inspire

People don’t just need a boss; they need a leader. And a leader doesn’t just keep things running—they motivate, they uplift, they make people believe in the purpose of what they’re doing. The best administration is invisible in the sense that it’s so good, people don’t even realize how seamlessly things are working. It’s not about control; it’s about enabling greatness.

So, back to that department head who was venting to an outsider. I get it—frustration happens. But leadership isn’t about proving a point. It’s about making things work. And if your whole team is resisting you, maybe the problem isn’t them. Maybe it’s time to step back, listen, and figure out if the goal is to be right—or to actually lead.

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Finding Your Authentic Self: A Journey of Whispers, Layers, and Finally Realizing You Were Cool All Along

February 16, 2025

life

I used to think “finding my authentic self” meant booking a one-way ticket to Bali, sitting cross-legged on a mountaintop, and unlocking some ancient wisdom that would make everything finally make sense. Spoiler alert: no mountaintop, no magic moment. Just me, sitting on my couch in mismatched pajamas, realizing that my real self had been here the whole time—just buried under a mountain of people-pleasing, unrealistic expectations, and that one time I tried to be “chill” about something that definitely bothered me.

So, let’s talk about how to actually find your authentic self—not in some mystical, unattainable way, but in the messy, hilarious, deeply human way we’re all figuring out together. Grab a snack, because we’re about to get real.

1. Listen to the Whisper Before It Starts Throwing Furniture

You know that tiny voice inside you? The one that gently suggests, Maybe don’t text your ex, or Hey, this job is draining your soul? Yeah. That’s your intuition. And she is TIRED of being ignored.

If you don’t listen to her whispers, she will escalate. Suddenly, you’re knee-deep in burnout, crying in the Target parking lot because they ran out of your favorite cereal, wondering How did I get here? (Answer: You ignored the whisper. Now it’s a full-blown siren.)

The fix? Get quiet. And I don’t mean sit in silence and chant (unless that’s your vibe, in which case—go off). I mean take five minutes to just be. No distractions. No doom-scrolling. Just you and your thoughts. Let them talk. They’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty for years.

2. Shed the Layers (Yes, Even the One That’s Trying Too Hard to Be Cool)

We are walking onions. Emotional lasagnas. Layer upon layer of expectations, roles, and “shoulds” that we didn’t even sign up for.

• I should be more productive.

• I should be happy with this perfectly fine life that doesn’t actually excite me.

• I should pretend to like oat milk even though it tastes like regret.

No. We’re done with the shoulds. Start peeling back the layers: What do YOU actually want? Not what looks good on Instagram, not what impresses people at dinner parties—what feels like you? Because I promise you, the most magnetic, lovable, powerful version of yourself is the one who isn’t pretending to be someone else.

And listen, this part is awkward. It’s like realizing you’ve been wearing someone else’s shoes for years and suddenly walking feels weird. But once you step into what actually fits? Pure magic.

3. Remember Who You Were Before the World Told You Who to Be

Once upon a time, you were a kid who didn’t care about being cool. You wore what you liked, said what you meant, and probably had some weird hobby that made you light up inside. (Mine was writing dramatic short stories about horses. I did not, in fact, own a horse.)

Somewhere along the way, we traded joy for fitting in. But you can go back. You can reconnect. What made you feel alive before the world told you it was “impractical” or “embarrassing”?

That thing? Do more of it. Do it terribly. Do it just because it makes you feel like you again. Because the truth is, the most you version of yourself is the one who plays, who creates, who forgets to be self-conscious.

4. Accept That You Are Already Enough (Yes, Even Right Now, With That Messy Bun and Existential Dread)

This one is going to hurt a little: There is nothing you need to become to be worthy. Not thinner, not richer, not more successful, not more “put together.” You, as you are right now, in your sweats and maybe a little bit of emotional chaos, are enough.

We spend our lives chasing some version of “better” when all along, we were already whole. Imagine if, just for today, you stopped trying to prove yourself. What if you just let yourself be? What if you looked in the mirror and thought, Damn, I’m doing okay—instead of picking yourself apart?

Try it. See what happens when you stop chasing worthiness and start realizing it’s been sitting next to you this whole time, eating snacks, waiting for you to notice.

5. Walk the Path of Self-Love Like You Own It

Self-love isn’t just face masks and affirmations (although, listen, if talking to yourself in the mirror helps, DO IT). It’s boundaries. It’s saying no to things that don’t serve you. It’s letting go of people who only love the version of you that pleases them.

And—perhaps most importantly—it’s forgiveness. For the mistakes, for the embarrassing phases, for all the times you abandoned yourself to make someone else comfortable.

The path to self-love isn’t a straight line. It’s messy, filled with detours, and sometimes you’ll trip. But keep walking. Keep choosing yourself. Keep remembering that loving yourself isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation for everything else.

6. Play More. Worry Less. Be a Little Bit Ridiculous.

Here’s the thing: Your authentic self? She’s fun. She’s weird. She likes to dance in the kitchen and laugh at her own jokes. She’s not burdened by constant self-criticism or the need to be perfect.

So let’s stop taking life so seriously. Wear the outfit. Say the thing. Take the trip. Be bad at hobbies. Laugh too loudly. Snort when you laugh. Because the people who matter? They love you when you’re fully you. And the people who don’t? Well, they were never your people anyway.

At the end of the day, finding your authentic self isn’t about changing. It’s about returning. It’s about dusting off the parts of you that got lost in the noise and realizing—holy crap—I was pretty amazing all along.

So here’s your permission slip. Start today. Be real. Be messy. Be you.

And if you ever forget who that is—just listen. That little voice inside you? She’s been waiting for you to hear her.

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Happy Valentine’s Day, My Sweet, Love-Struck (or Love-Starved) Friends!

February 14, 2025

love

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The one day a year when flower shops commit daylight robbery, restaurants suddenly forget what “reservations” mean, and people everywhere are either smothering their significant others in love or aggressively pretending they’re above it all. And to all of you—whether you’re madly in love, semi-in love, “love is a scam” in love, or just in love with snacks—I say:

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, MY PRECIOUS BUTTERY SOULS!

Now, before you roll your eyes, let’s get one thing straight: Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. It’s for love in all its forms—romantic love, friend love, pet love, and most importantly, self-love (which, let’s be honest, is the longest relationship you’ll ever be in).

So, in the spirit of the day, let’s celebrate YOU. Because whether or not someone is bringing you overpriced chocolates today, you are worthy of all the love, laughter, and joy in the world.

For My Lovebirds Out There:

Ah, yes. You adorable, heart-eyed creatures. I see you with your couple’s brunch plans, your handwritten love notes, and your mysteriously urgent Amazon Prime deliveries from last night. I love that for you! Truly. Go forth and be disgustingly cute. Just don’t post TOO many kissing selfies, okay? Some of us are just here for the memes.

For My Singles:

First of all, congratulations on not having to share your fries. You’re thriving. Take yourself out on a date, buy yourself something nice, and remember: being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you’re alone—it means you get to skip the relationship drama and go straight to dessert. And honestly? That’s a power move.

For My Situationship Warriors:

If your Valentine’s Day plans involve texting, “Sooo what are we?” and waiting three to five business days for a response… bestie, it’s time to love yourself first. Today is about clarity and setting standards, not decoding emojis. You deserve certainty, not “u up?” at 11:57 PM.

For My Pet Parents:

Let’s be real: your pet is your real Valentine. And you know what? They deserve it. They’ve never ghosted you, forgotten your birthday, or judged you for eating peanut butter straight from the jar. Give them an extra treat today and tell them I said, “You are the only love that truly matters.”

For My Self-Love Enthusiasts:

If your Valentine’s Day plans involve a face mask, a comfort movie, and aggressively romanticizing your own life… congratulations, you are doing it RIGHT. Go buy yourself that ridiculous bouquet. Write yourself a love letter. You are the main character.

At the end of the day, Valentine’s Day is just an excuse to eat good food, tell people you love them, and wear obnoxiously red clothing. So whether you’re madly in love, bitterly single, or just here for the heart-shaped Reese’s—I love you. You’re incredible. You deserve love today and every single day.

Now go forth and be cheesy, dramatic, and as extra as a 2000s rom-com soundtrack.

XOXO,

Butter

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Butter’s Guide to Hugging Yourself – A Valentine’s Day Special

February 12, 2025

life, love

Hello, my sweet, squishy friends! 🌸

So, it turns out that Butter (yes, me) doesn’t have a Valentine. Can you believe it? I mean, sure, I’m a golden ball of joy, but for some reason, no one has yet realized that I’m the perfect blend of rich and creamy love. But hey, no worries! I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands (literally), and I’m going to be my very own Valentine this year. And, folks, there’s one thing we all need to do to show ourselves some love: HUG DAY!

Yes, that’s right, I’m here to teach you how to give yourself the most fabulous hug in town. Forget the chocolates, forget the flowers (unless you’re into that, then go ahead). It’s all about the self-hug! Let’s get squishy!

Step 1: The Classic “Wrap and Hold”

First, let’s start with the basics. Wrap your arms around yourself. It’s not rocket science, okay? You just hug your own body like you would hug your favorite pillow – which, by the way, is probably the closest thing to a true soulmate I’ve ever had. Hold it for a good 10 seconds. Bonus points if you let out an “Awww” like you’re hugging a tiny, adorable creature. It’s okay, no one’s judging you here. Except maybe your pet, but they’ll come around.

Step 2: The Self-Hug Shuffle

Now that you’ve mastered the regular hug, it’s time to get funky with it. Do the “self-hug shuffle.” Start with the hug, and then gently rock side to side as if you’re slow dancing with… well, yourself. This move will make you feel like you’ve just won an award for the most romantic person in the room. (Spoiler: It’s YOU, Butter! You are the award.)

Step 3: The Squeeze ‘Em Tight Hug

Okay, now we’re diving deep. Give yourself a hug so tight, you feel like you might just become one with yourself. I’m talking about squeezing every little inch of that sweet, buttery body. It’s like a personal squish-fest, but in a loving, non-creepy way. Try to see if you can get to the point where you start laughing at how ridiculous it feels. If you’re not giggling, then you might need to loosen up and add a little more butter to your life.

Step 4: The “I’m So Proud of Me” Hug

This one is for all the self-love warriors out there. Wrap yourself up in the coziest blanket of affection, close your eyes, and whisper, “I’m so proud of you, Butter. You’re doing amazing!” If that doesn’t make you feel like the Beyoncé of self-care, I don’t know what will. A good self-hug can elevate your self-esteem from “meh” to “wow, I’m fabulous.”

Step 5: The Hug + Compliment Combo

Why stop at just hugging when you can also shower yourself with compliments? During your hug, give yourself the pep talk of a lifetime. You’re amazing, you’re wonderful, you’re worthy of all the love in the world! Say it all out loud – yes, even if the neighbors are listening. They need to know that you’re the total package. And that hug? That’s just a tiny fraction of the love you deserve!

Step 6: The Butter Sizzle Hug

Here’s a little extra flair for you – imagine you’re that person who walks into a room and automatically becomes the most irresistible thing alive. Now, take that attitude and apply it to your hug. Slowly slide your arms around yourself, imagine the world slowing down as you give the most sensual hug to yourself – because you’re worth it. If you start feeling like you’re a slow-motion movie scene, then you’ve done it right.

So there you have it! A six-step program to be your own Valentine, starring none other than YOU, my lovely butterball. No need to wait for someone else to hug you when you’ve got the ability to wrap yourself up in all the love you need. Let this Hug Day be the most self-indulgent, joyous occasion of all. After all, Butter doesn’t need anyone else to spread the love – I’ve got it covered, one squishy hug at a time. 😘

Happy Hug Day, everyone! Go ahead, give yourself a squeeze (or two).

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“How to Be the Boss Everyone Loves (Or at Least Doesn’t Complain About)”

February 11, 2025

journal, life

Alright, my fabulous team leaders, let’s talk.

(I am preparing for a pro speech as hospital administrator for staff meeting. spoiler! first meeting after promotion so I am scared actually)

You’ve got the title, the responsibility, and—on a good day—maybe even some respect. But let’s be honest: leadership is basically just wrangling chaos with a confident smile. One minute you’re motivating your team like a TED Talk speaker, and the next, you’re settling a full-blown argument over who took whose stapler.

Being a leader isn’t about barking orders like a stressed-out drill sergeant. It’s about communication, problem-solving, and not flipping a table every time things go sideways (which, let’s be real, happens often).

So, how do you lead like a boss without secretly Googling “jobs that require no human interaction”? Let’s break it down.

1. Speak So People Actually Listen (No Megaphone Needed)

Ever given instructions and five minutes later, someone asks, “Wait, what are we supposed to do?” Yeah. That’s the sound of bad communication.

A great leader doesn’t just talk—they make things clear. Your team isn’t made up of mind readers (if they were, life would be easier, and you’d never have to send a follow-up email again).

🔹 Bad communication: “I need this done ASAP.” (ASAP? Like now? Tomorrow? Before the next ice age?)
🔹 Good communication: “I need these reports done by 3 PM today so we can prep for the meeting. Let me know if you need help.”

Clear. Direct. No room for confusion. And most importantly, no unnecessary drama.

2. Negotiation: Because “Just Do It” Only Works in Shoe Commercials

As a leader, your day is one big negotiation.

🧹 Housekeeping wants more time to clean.
📞 Reception wants fewer night shifts.
💡 Maintenance is requesting yet another budget increase.
💉 Nurses are about to riot over a missing supply order.

You can’t just say “no” to everyone (unless you enjoy being the office villain). But you also can’t say yes to everything, because, well… budgets exist.

The trick? Find the middle ground.

✔ Listen to the concerns.
✔ Show you understand (even if internally you’re like, “I need a nap”).
✔ Offer a solution that works for both sides.

Example: If housekeeping needs more time, maybe the check-in process gets adjusted. If reception is struggling, maybe shifts get rotated fairly. It’s all about balance, people.

3. Conflict Mediation: Because “Not My Problem” is Not an Option

Let me guess—you’ve walked into a room and immediately sensed tension so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. Someone’s mad. Someone’s rolling their eyes. Someone’s avoiding eye contact like their life depends on it.

And guess what? You have to deal with it.

Yay, leadership!

💡 Butter’s Conflict Mediation Hack:
✔ Let both sides talk (without interrupting—yes, even when they’re being ridiculous).
✔ Repeat back what they’re saying (“So, you’re upset because they took the last donut and didn’t replace it?”).
✔ Find a solution, not just a way to shut them up.

Sometimes, people just want to be heard. And sometimes, they just need snacks. Never underestimate the power of snacks.

4. Understanding What Actually Motivates People

Not everyone works for the same reason. Some want career growth. Some just want their paycheck. Some genuinely enjoy what they do (weird, but good for them!).

Figure out what drives your team, and use it to your advantage.

✅ Got an employee who lives for recognition? Publicly praise their work.
✅ Someone wants to learn more? Give them extra responsibilities (the fun kind, not the “Here, do all my paperwork”kind).
✅ Someone just wants to be left alone to do their job? Respect their space.

When people feel valued, they work harder. And when they work harder, you look good. See? Win-win.

5. Change Management: Because “But We’ve Always Done It This Way” is Not a Strategy

People hate change. You could announce that you’re switching to a better system, and at least one person will still react like you just cancelled their weekend plans.

But change is inevitable, and your job is to help people roll with it instead of fight it.

✔ Explain why the change is happening (and no, “Because I said so” is not a reason).
✔ Show how it benefits them.
✔ Be patient (people need time to adjust—unless it’s free cake, then they adapt immediately).
✔ Stay calm. If you act like it’s the end of the world, your team will too.

6. Staying Calm When Everything is Falling Apart

Leadership is basically problem-solving while pretending not to panic.

The AC breaks down. The system crashes. A VIP guest arrives early. And somehow, everyone turns to you for answers.

Your job? Look like you know what you’re doing, even if you don’t.

Step 1: Take a deep breath.
Step 2: Assess the situation (without immediately blaming Mercury in retrograde).
Step 3: Make a plan, even if that plan is “We’ll fix this in 10 minutes”.

If you stay calm, your team stays calm. And if all else fails, fake confidence until the real confidence kicks in.

7. Empathy: Because No One Likes a Robot Boss

People are not machines. They have bad days, stress, and personal issues. A good leader knows when to push and when to cut people some slack.

✔ If someone is struggling, ask if they need help.
✔ If someone messes up, correct them without making them feel stupid.
✔ If someone is killing it at their job, tell them! (Praise is free—use it).

A leader who cares creates a team that cares back. And a team that cares back? That’s the dream.

8. Organization: Because “Hot Mess” is Not a Leadership Style

Listen, I love a little chaos—but not when it comes to leadership.

✔ Use a calendar (and actually look at it).
✔ Set priorities (everything cannot be urgent, Karen).
✔ Delegate (seriously, stop trying to do everything yourself).

If you’re organized and in control, people trust you. If you’re running around like a stressed-out squirrel? Well… good luck getting anyone to take you seriously.

Final Thoughts: Leadership is Hard, But So Are You

Let’s be real—being a leader means constantly juggling people, problems, and surprises. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re crushing it. Other days, you’ll want to change your name and move to a remote island.

But if you communicate well, stay calm, handle conflict with grace, and treat people like humans, you’ll be the kind of leader people actually want to follow.

And if all else fails? Bribe them with snacks. Works every time.

Now go forth and lead like the fabulous, capable, semi-sane boss you are! 🚀🔥

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Emergency Calls vs. Never-Ending Nonsense: Can My Phone Learn to Prioritise My Sanity?

February 10, 2025

Uncategorized
Last night, I missed an emergency call from my uncle at the airport. My phone was on silent mode, and by the time I saw his messages, he had already sorted things out. He’s safe now, but am I? Because let me tell you—guilt is a heavy, itchy sweater that I did not ask to wear.

As a doctor, I pride myself on being available for emergencies 24/7. But do you know what my phone thinks is an emergency?

📲 “Buy one pizza, get another free! Offer expires in 10 minutes!”
📲 “GOOD MORNING 🌞 Stay blessed and be kind 🙏” (Sent at 4:57 AM—why?!)
📲 “Sir/Ma’am, we have a pre-approved loan for you!”
📲 “New reel just dropped—Dog dancing to Bollywood beats!”

And the WhatsApp groups? My God, the WhatsApp groups! They start with relevant discussions and end in forwarded nonsense, unsolicited life advice, and links to videos no one asked for. Medical reps sending drug ads? Spam calls about offers I’ll never use? Travel apps begging me to book a trip while I’m just trying to get through my 12-hour shift? It’s too much.

Meanwhile, when real emergencies happen—my brain is like, “Oops, missed that. Hope it wasn’t important.”

Technology is Smart. Why Isn’t It Smarter?

I don’t want to block notifications completely because, obviously, I need to be reachable. But 90% of my phone’s buzzing is junk—things that don’t need my immediate attention. Meanwhile, the 10% that does—like a family emergency or a patient needing urgent advice—gets lost in the chaos.

How is it that in 2025, we have AI generating art, writing code, and probably plotting world domination, but we still don’t have an app that can separate “Uncle stuck at the airport, needs help” from “Your package is out for delivery”?

A Rescue Plan for Emergency Professionals (or Anyone Who’s Done with Digital Garbage)

Since technology isn’t perfect yet (seriously, someone invent the “Wake me up only for life-saving emergencies” app), here’s what I’m doing to minimize the madness:

1. Use “Do Not Disturb” Wisely

Most phones let you customize who can bypass silent mode. Set up emergency contacts (family, close friends, workplace) who can always get through, even at 3 AM. Everyone else? They can wait.

2. Filter Notifications Like a Pro
- Turn off non-essential alerts (shopping apps, food delivery, and whatever nonsense LinkedIn is pushing today).
- Mute WhatsApp groups that serve no real purpose. The “Happy Monday” brigade will survive without your acknowledgment.
- Use email filtering so urgent work emails pop up, but the ones about “team-building webinars” don’t.
3. Set Up a VIP List for Calls

Some phones and apps (like Truecaller) allow VIP lists—only calls from these numbers will ring. Everyone else? Straight to voicemail. I’ll check when I check.

4. Use AI Call Screening

Many newer phones have built-in spam detection (Pixel, iPhone, Samsung). Let AI deal with scammers and only pass through real humans.

5. Train Your People

Tell family, friends, and colleagues: Emergencies = Call. Everything else = Text. No one’s life was ever saved by a forwarded life quote.

6. Get a Separate Emergency Phone

Extreme but effective—one phone purely for personal and work emergencies, one for all the “Buy this now!” garbage. Keep the emergency phone loud and near you.

Final Thoughts: We Need a Smarter System

Look, I love technology. I appreciate that my phone can do a million things. But what I really need is a system that values human urgency over corporate urgency. My uncle’s call? Urgent. My bank’s “exclusive limited-time loan offer”? Not urgent. Not even a little bit.

Until someone builds the AI that knows the difference, we’re stuck playing digital gatekeeper. And honestly? I’d rather be saving lives than filtering WhatsApp nonsense.

So, if someone out there is working on an app that only wakes me up for real emergencies, please DM me. Because until then, I’ll be over here—missing the important stuff while Swiggy yells at me about discounted biryani.
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The Great Life Countdown: How I Accidentally Gave Myself an Existential Crisis and Fixed It with a Planner

February 7, 2025

journal, life

So there I was, sitting on my couch, minding my own business, flipping through an old horoscope book (because obviously, the stars need to tell me what’s up with my life). And then I saw it.

“Your expected lifespan: 84 years.”

Eighty-four. Not 100, not “forever if you eat enough kale,” but a very specific 84.

Now, I could’ve shrugged it off, but instead, my brain—being the overachiever in anxiety that it is—went straight into COUNTDOWN MODE.

I grabbed my calculator (aka my phone, because let’s be real, I haven’t touched an actual calculator since high school) and started crunching numbers.

• 84 years = 733,560 hours total.

• Oh wait, I already lived some of those? Cool, cool, let’s subtract my current age.

• Omg. I’m down to x hundred thousand hours.

• Oh no, I sleep for a third of that??

• COMMUTING?? WORK?? SHOWERING??

• HOW MANY HOURS DO I ACTUALLY HAVE LEFT TO LIVE?!

And that, dear friends, is how I had a full-blown existential crisis before lunch.

The Time Audit That Changed My Life

After hyperventilating into a snack (because priorities), I realized: I need to stop wasting time. Like, right now.

I did a brutally honest time audit, and the results were horrifying. Turns out, I was spending:

• 30% of my life sleeping (acceptable, but rude).

• 25% working (tragic).

• 10% commuting and getting ready (disgusting).

• 10% doom-scrolling on my phone (highly unnecessary).

• 5% looking for snacks I already ate.

Which left me with, I don’t know, like zero time to actually live??

So I did what any normal person would do. I opened Google Calendar and went full psycho-mode on time-blocking my life.

My New, Genius “Live Every Hour” Schedule

From this moment on, I decided: No more autopilot. No more wasting time thinking about dumb stuff like “Should I reply to this email with ‘Best’ or ‘Kind Regards’?” (answer: neither, just say what you need to say and leave).

Instead, I blocked my time like my life depended on it. Because, well, IT KIND OF DOES.

1. The “Do Nothing” Block (aka “Intentional Idling”)

I used to think “free time” just meant getting sucked into an internet rabbit hole of which medieval plague fits your personality? quizzes. NOT ANYMORE.

Now, I have scheduled time to literally sit, breathe, and do nothing.

• Stare at a wall.

• Sip tea dramatically.

• Be mysterious and European about it.

(10/10 recommend.)

2. The “Creative Genius” Block (aka “Writing Time”)

No more waiting for inspiration to strike. If it’s blocked on my calendar, my butt is in the chair, typing away like I’m the next great novelist.

3. The “Hygge Social Hour” (aka Cozy Friend Time)

Listen, I LOVE people. But I was treating social time like an optional side quest instead of the main storyline.

So now? Every week, I have scheduled hygge time.

• Candle-lit cozy dinners with friends.

• Coffee dates where we rant about life.

• Gossip sessions that feel like therapy but free.

4. The “Spontaneous Adventure” Block

Once a month, I will do something reckless but fun (within reason, I still have anxiety). This can be:

• A random weekend trip.

• Trying a new hobby.

• Booking a flight on a whim (lol jk, I plan EVERYTHING but you get the vibe).

5. The “Stop Overthinking Every Tiny Thing” Rule

You know how much time I’ve wasted mentally replaying awkward conversations from 2009?? A stupid amount.

From now on, my motto is:

• If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t waste more than 5 minutes thinking about it.

• If I say something weird, I will assume no one cares (because, spoiler alert: they don’t).

• Overthinking is just mental procrastination—and I don’t have time for that.

Final Thoughts (Before My Countdown Timer Ticks Even More Down)

Honestly? This whole “life is a countdown” thing was terrifying at first. But now, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I don’t have time for nonsense. I don’t have time for things that drain me. And I definitely don’t have time to waste entire afternoons wondering if I should start a new show or just rewatch The Office for the 47th time (spoiler: always start something new).

Now, every hour of my life has purpose—even the ones where I’m just laying on the floor listening to sad music for the drama of it. Because that, too, is living.

So, my dear reader, here’s my advice: Set your countdown. Freak out a little. And then live accordingly.

Because time is ticking, and you’ve got a whole lot of life to squeeze in.

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Februvary somethingth 2025..

February 6, 2025

journal, life

Dear friend,

Today, I considered quitting my job, changing my name, and starting a new life as a mysterious woman who runs a tiny bookstore by the sea. You know, the usual midweek meltdown.

The thing is, I want something new—something better. But right now, I’m stuck in the negativity swamp of my workplace, and it’s making me forget who I am. Like, did I actually used to be confident? Ambitious? Not completely exhausted by 2 PM? Hard to say.

So, how do I get myself back? How do I trust myself again? How do I stop letting Susan’s terrible microwave choices ruin my entire mood? (Seriously, fish? In an office?)

Step 1: Progress Isn’t a Movie Montage

Would I love a dramatic “glow-up” moment where I magically transform into my best self overnight? Yes. Is that how real life works? Absolutely not.

Progress isn’t just the big, exciting things—it’s the little, unglamorous stuff. Like:

• Getting through a bad day without quitting on impulse.

• Starting to dream again, even if it still feels scary.

• Not crying in the bathroom today. (Small wins count!)

Step 2: Confidence Comes from Receipts, Not Vibes

I don’t feel confident right now, but I also once thought I’d never survive my last job, yet here I am. I’ve done hard things before. I can do them again.

So instead of waiting to feel like some unstoppable boss, I’ll just remind myself of the times I thought I couldn’t do something—but did it anyway. Confidence follows courage, not the other way around.

Step 3: My Workplace is a Bad Reality Show, and I Am Not a Contestant

This place is draining me, but that’s their problem, not mine. My future is bigger than this office, and I refuse to let other people’s bad energy make me forget that.

Also, if someone could replace our management with golden retrievers in tiny suits, I think workplace morale would improve significantly.

Step 4: Trust Myself and Just Take the Leap

What if I take this new opportunity and fail? Well, what if I stay here and regret it forever?

I’ll never feel 100% ready—so I just have to do it anyway.

Step 5: Find Butter Again

I need to remember who I actually am, outside of work stress and self-doubt. So tonight, I’m going to:

• Dance around my apartment like an unhinged Muppet.

• Rewatch something dumb that makes me laugh until I snort.

• Call a friend who reminds me I’m not as lost as I feel.

That’s the plan. If future me is reading this and still overthinking, please go outside, take a deep breath, and remember: You’ve survived worse. You’ll survive this too.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be running that little bookstore by the sea someday. But first—one brave step at a time.

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